The statement went something like this:
“One of the biggest problems on the rise in our nation today is this: sexually aggressive young women. It is so important that we (as parents) prepare our sons to deal with sexually aggressive young women appropriately.”
I heard a man (who shall remain nameless) discussing this issue on the radio the other day; I agreed with much of what he had to say.
Are young women becoming more and more sexually aggressive?
Should parents have open conversations with their sons about how to deal with sexually aggressive young women?
But, at the same time, I couldn’t help but think this man had an awful lot of nerve. Is he a part of the He-Man Women-Haters Club?
While listening to him warn listeners about the dangers of manipulative and seductive girls, I was like…
Does this man not know that (even despite the fact that girls have started pursuing men more than they did in the past) males are STILL more promiscuous than females???
We all know there has always been a double standard in the sex department. Generally speaking, a guy can go have sex with twenty-something women, and it’s no big deal. In fact, this “spread-your-seed” behavior is expected, and often times even encouraged with boys. But if a girl sleeps around, she’s a whore. Period.
Unfortunately, the double standard has been the barrier between women and the notion to be sexually aggressive – not necessarily Christian values. As a whole, women weren’t sexually passive out of respect for God; they were sexually passive because they didn’t want society to call them sluts.
When asked “Why do you think young girls have become so sexually aggressive?” the man responded with something like this:
“They are seeing those behaviors on TV and hearing about those behaviors in music.”
So, in essence, he blamed it on the media.
He did have a point. The media does have a prominent influence on young people. But I was shocked that such an intelligent, open-minded man didn’t even consider the possibility that women may have gotten sick of being sexual victims. Of being taken advantage of sexually. He didn’t even entertain the thought of women being fed up with the sexual double standard in which men ruled mightily for centuries.
Truth: Girls are not partaking in any sexually aggressive behaviors today that guys didn’t partake in long before today. They do, however, develop the urge to get at it earlier (at a younger age than boys).
This was another “reason” the man provided for the rise of female sexual aggression. Girls reach puberty quicker than boys. He said that, when looking at a group of 6th graders, the girls look more “mature” and behave more “maturely” than the boys. And, according to this man, our helpless little boys are easy targets for evil, 6th grade Jezebels (not his choice of words, but it is how I heard it).
Girls have ALWAYS matured faster than boys. It’s not a new phenomenon. Yet, until VERY recently, sexually aggressive young women haven’t caused too much of a ruckus…again, according to this man.
So why does he say maturation is a factor in this “issue?” All his point tells me is that, until now, girls have harnessed their sexual interests and desires and waited for boys to catch up and start doing what they are “supposed” to do – which is pursue girls.
To be so far behind maturity-wise, guys sure are (and always have been) ahead of the game in the sexual statistic department. Which, again, refutes his argument.
Guys lose their virginity at age 16.9
Girls lose their virginity at 17.4
Only 3% of the population WAITS until they are married to have sex.
Of that 3%…
40% are guys
60% are girls
Married men cheat more often than married women…
Pardon my graphic lingo on this one… but MANY more guys masturbate than gals.
The list goes on and on… but I will end on that not-so-PG note.
I just couldn’t help it. I felt slightly offended for female-kind (obviously) throughout the duration of this radio discussion. The whole “boys are sexually victimized by girls” thing makes me laugh quite sarcastically.
Let’s just ignore the “boys will be boys” centuries that have gone by, throughout which men (yes…even Christian men) abused and dominated women sexually without much chastising from ANYONE (except maybe the feminists, who – let’s just face it – aren’t typically Christ followers) and skip straight to blaming young women for doing so on a MUCH smaller scale now that a few of them have gotten the hankering to act on the hormones they are feeling BEFORE boys feel them.
I may sound like a she-woman man-hater, but I assure you that I am not. And, as I said in the very beginning, I agreed with much of what this man said.
Girls need to STOP being so aggressive in the dating game. And that goes for girls of ALL ages.
Boys of all ages need to know how to deal with aggressive girls. For starters, they shouldn’t find the aggression attractive (though we ALL know most of them do, and who can blame them? It takes the pressure of being a strong, confident man off them).
Dear Girls, Ladies and Women of all ages:
Get a grip!
For thousands of years (whether we have gotten the credit we deserve for it or not), we females have been the saints in the sex department. We have been harder to take to bed. Our belts have had fewer notches. We have been more faithful to our spouses. Guys may not have done a great job of showing it, but they have treasured our purity and innocence.
But now… men are calling us out on being sexual aggressors. And despite how much to blame they may be, WE are the only ones who can make the decision to eliminate the grounds on which men have to call us out. WE need to be the sex saints we were meant to be. That we were in the past. Despite any and all peer pressure and/or temptation that may cripple our ability to say “no.” WE must.
1. When guys say it’s HOT for a girl to hit on them, don’t listen. It’s not.
2. When guys tell you dirty, sexual jokes, turn up your nose… & don’t laugh. They aren’t funny.
3. When guys try to touch you in places you shouldn’t be touched by anyone other than your husband, it’s more than okay to say, “Excuse me? That’s not yours.”
4. When guys talk about how sexy the act of two girls kissing is, pray for them. Don’t you dare go kiss a girl out of desperation to earn a guy’s attention.
5. When a guy says, “It’s JUST sex,” politely leave. Because he has a lot of growing in Christ to do before he can/will respect you on that level.
6. When guys fawn over breasts and booties, don’t take that as the cue to purchase a more revealing wardrobe.
And for the love of God, yourself and the world, don’t do/say ANYTHING I just mentioned that a guy could possibly do/say to you.
Because “girls will be girls” is not a saying we want going around about us.
Men should not have the opportunity to say the things that man said about girls on that radio show. As you can see, I took up for “us” as much as I could… but when it comes down to it, WE have allowed it.
Don’t be so concerned about the sexual “double standard.” After all, God doesn’t care about it. On judgment day, He is going to judge us ALL, and men will not be able to say… “But Jesus…ya see…it was okay for guys to…so that’s why I did…” Premarital sex is premarital sex – no matter what gender is the aggressor. No matter who does it.
Abstain. Not because you don’t want to be called a slut. But because you love Jesus; therefore, you will keep His commandments.
In a world full of sexual craziness and confusion, let’s be virtuous girls, ladies and women. Let’s make that man on that radio station take back everything he said about sexually aggressive young women! About how it’s such a HUGE, scary issue! About how the poor, young boys are being taken advantage of. Let’s put all of the sexual blame back in the hands of men… where it belongs.
I love each and every one of you!
Kara Grey <3
P.S. To any of my male followers:
I love you, too! And I can’t wait for you to teach young boys how to be strong, Christian men! The world needs them! I promise I will be just as hard on the young girls ;) So don’t cut them any slack! And, please, don’t give those boys the impression that MEN can ever be victimized by a woman. Because real MEN can’t. And for that, I’m so thankful.